I FACED ONE OF MY BIGGEST FEARS….
Competition day…
Mind is going rampant, butterflies all around my stomach
“You could end up crouches again for 6 months”
“You can back out now”
“You can turnaround and go home, you don’t have to show up”
The voice inside my head riddling me with doubt and trying to fill me with former fears
Fears that I was scared to face
Back in 2017 I had the worst injury of my life
Wrestling in high school my ankle got turned 180 degrees and my fibula snapped
I couldn’t walk for 5 months and I thought I would never be able to play sports again
EVER SINCE THAT DAY I FEARED that happening again
I’ve been running from that fear for 6 fucking years
Having this fear going unrecognized would bother me, I knew I wanted to get back into it, but this Bitch voice saying I might get injured again kept holding me back from committing
So on December 3rd 2022
After training on and off for almost a year in BJJ I decided I WAS NO LONGER TO LIVE IN FEAR
Living in fear of anything, begins to limit other areas of life
I NEEDED TO FACE THAT MOTHERFUCKER HEAD ON
I stepped on the competitive matts again, into the unknown… not knowing what was gonna happen
No matter how nervous, uncomfortable it made me, or how many people told me to not do it
I either live knowing I could have done it or JUST FUCKING DO IT
And guess what ? I lost both my matches
But I never gave a shit about winning or losing I cared that I showed up and DIDN’T LIE TO MYSELF
I followed through my promise to myself
A lot of you busy males lack following through
You say you wanna reach your goals but DON’T COMMIT because you failed in the past
You’ve tried different things and never could stick with it
What if I told you, even if you’ve failed in the past…you still can do this
YOU STILL can be that motherfucker to show up and lose your man boobs and your belly fat
If your still breathing, if your walking and reading this
You NEED TO GET THE FUCK UP AND TRY AGAIN
