Why Porn Was Destroying me
Behind closed doors this was Destroying Me
every single day for almost 4 years
I would watch porn every single day, sometimes even twice a day
And I would think it’s normal that’s what guys do
When I first heard about it it seemed like this was what everyone else was doing and I HAD to take part in it
Because I was an outcast, I wanted to fit in, I wanted to be part of the conversation with the guys about the girls, the sex, all of it
I wanted to feel like I could give to the conversation, and it led to this unhealthy habit of watching porn
And in reality…. What started off as something I did to just feel like I could “fit in”
I just felt shame, guilt and it made isolate myself EVERY SINGLE DAY…
I just craved it after I watched it and I wanted to keep getting that instant dopamine hit
But I watched it so much that I couldn’t even perform for the person I was with sometimes
And it took after years….
Being alone one day and realizing…
WHAT THE FUCK Ammi doing watching staged sex as a grown fucking man
Why Ammi letting my brain take this in and inviting the possibility of addiction and reliance
Why Ammi building up unrealistic expectations of my future sex life
I just began to question myself as to why I was doing it and then I realized the purpose stemmed from me in middle school just wanting to fit in
So….I cut it out of my life…cold turkey back in February once my prep for my shows started up
And since then looking back it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and never wanna go back to thinking I need to watch other people have sex on a fucking 9 by 15 inch screen
Why don’t I instead spend this time
developing myself to attract that right person in myself so I can have long lasting authentic happiness in my life
So I can make my own great sex life instead watching this fake fucking bullshit
And if your a man caught in that trap your not alone and I got your back
And If I can Escape this trap then you 100% can too
We’re here to improve together Men🙏
