Hiiii guys! This week I talk about some of the things I discussed about relationships with my bhua and fufad (who came round at the weekend) and how their views differ from my own. The topics include not putting myself out there, family reputation, dating someone outside the Punjabi community, caste and fear of dying alone! ✨ Song of the week: Attraction | Sukha ✨ Note: I understand that their views reflect thoughts people in the Panjabi community have and the environment that they have been brought up in. And I’m not necessarily saying their views are wrong; but that I personally don’t resonate with them. Funnily for the surprise party (my stupidity is mentioned in previous episodes) when I told my Dad that we’re were going to meet a guys parents (for casual rishta talks lol) he did not ask about the guy or the family. Maybe my upbringing and resolve has been different than my cousins which is why I cannot not fully agree with their views. While I still respect them to some extent the strained nature of these relationships means that I find it difficult to accept that they fully understand me as a person and individual. As in their perspective I come across as an ‘uncultured’ and ‘whitewashed’ individual; which I am not. Like I have previously stated it has taken a lot for me to open up and be vulnerable. But in instances such as these involving family who have not been present for much of my life means that it is harder for us to understand each other and be on the same wavelength. One thing I had to learn was not to care what other people think. This is because most of the time people are too busy dealing with their own stuff to even bother with what you’re doing. So what’s the point in trying to make everyone happy (which simply is not possible) while being extremely miserable yourself. At this point I really don’t care what anyone thinks of me because for the FIRST time I am actually putting myself first. And no not in a selfish way but in a way that I DESERVE to not feel guilty about not caring about how people perceive me and my reputatio. It is obvious that being under pressure to live up to unattainable standards and high expectations has made me re-think what is personally important to ME. And that does not include living up to other peoples expectations and how they want me to live MY life. And the end of the day like everyone else I’m trying my best! ty to everyone that made it this far I don’t know why this bothered me as much as it did! Probs because I like to do my own thing and be authentic! I really appreciate everyone being supportive and understanding it acc means a lot to me that someone understands where I’m coming from. Because isn’t what everyone wants is to be loved, understood and to be able to be themselves without being judged. Love u guys x ♥️🥹 literally is Nov atm and I can’t believe how fast this yr has gone! hope everyone reading this has a lovely week you deserve it xxx
