do not have expectations from people because you will end up disappointed… if they have shown they same behaviour continuously why would they change now… Hiiii guys! I’m back! I was ill for a bit which is why there was no episode so sorry about that. But now I’m feeling much better. This week I talk about my cousins engagement and the events that took place. Honestly I can say that I left fairly annoyed and upset at their behaviour. The constant lies, manipulation and being left out has taken a toll on me. Moreover the fact they think it’s okay to treat my mum like this as well speaks volumes since she has always been kind and respectful towards them. It was mentally exhausting having to deal with them which is why I will be distancing myself from them. I have learnt so much from this experience. On one had I was very excited that my cousin has found someone to spend his life with. On the other hand to be treated so disrespectfully by them has diminished my excitement. I will still be happy from them because everyone deserves love. But from now on I will be distancing myself from them because this whole experience has shown me that I need to put me first.
I realised that people may not always change. And I do not wish to feel this way again. The best thing for me is not to have any expectations from people. Do not be fooled this incident is not limited to this engagement. This has been a long time coming … from not being close and left out of things since a young age. It has carried on to adulthood. It saddens me to say that I am not close with my cousins. But this is the truth and reality. It is even more hurtful to know that we were only invited to project a picture of perfectness to his in -laws. There is almost an unsaid obligation that you have to be there for them even if they have disrespected you and your family. Honestly it is not worth it for me. As I said previously I want to protect my peace. Which will mean distancing myself from them as I have been doing.
Sometimes when my expectations are shattered and I feel hurt. I know it’s because I would have NEVER treated them the way they treated me. I would have never done the things that they did. Only because that is not who I am. And as I said previously I do not wish to be like them. So I will be rising above their behaviour and still protecting my peace. As I have been so mentally exhausted from their lies, manipulation and behaviour. A lot of extended family relationships can be complicated which is why I want to share what I am going through because it’s not all happy and shiny like social media sometimes leads us to believe. I am always learning, I am always healing. I have gotten to a place where I feel like everything is constantly changing. And I can always better myself. Now that I know better I can focus on applying this into my daily life. I am glad that the reality of who they are is now visible. As people are good at hiding who they often are. Just knowing that aunt is a disrespectful and manipulative person will allow me to protect my peace in the present and future. Also knowing that cousins behaviour is probably from what their parents taught them because they don’t know any different. Makes me think that things could have been different. But sadly they are not. This is the reality that I have to deal with. And I am okay with it because you can’t miss what you never had … so why did I expect things to be different now??? Maybe it was misguided happiness??? Or silly optimism??? What ever the reason was I thought things were gonna be different. But sadly left disappointed when they weren’t.
I’m am so grateful for my friends that support me and uplift me. Who are always there when I need them.
Can I say l am always grateful that I can share my experience and what I am going through on here. Thank you all for being here 🤍🩶
