Persuasion is a really important form of communication. We often talk about persuasion as, in the words of my father-in-law, being a “schlimer”, which basically comes down to someone who tries to persuade someone to do a certain thing or to think a certain way or to kind of respond in a certain way, but they do it insincerely. When we think about persuasion that’s the kind of mindset we have. We think about these people who are trying to give you the “hard sell”, who are overzealous in trying to convince you of something. I think persuasion is something we do every day. We are always trying to persuade each other to do things or to act a certain way or to think a certain way or to just feel something. I’m persuading you right now. I’m doing my best to persuade you that this content might be important in your life and that there’s something here that you can use, that you can take and act on in some significant way. I think about persuasion in a very different way than what I imagine is conventional thought. That’s because I do a lot of public presentations. When you’re presenting in public, whether as a teacher or presenting at a conference or wherever, in front of a large group or small group of people, I often think about how I can persuade them to listen to take the time to not check their email, to not look at their computers, to not look at their phone, and persuade them that what I’m saying actually might matter to them and that there’s something of value in what I’m saying. In order to do that, I don’t just launch into the most nitty-gritty aspect of what I’m talking about. I take a few moments at the beginning of my whole spiel to think about the value systems that we have in common, that my audience has in common with me. What are the things that we are aligned on? Where are we thinking in the same way? If you use that foundation for how you approach the rest of the presentation, then the act of persuasion becomes a lot easier. It becomes a lot easier just for them to absorb what you’re saying because they’ve already tuned into your frequency. You’ve already given them a foundation to build on before you get to the heart of the matter. So they’ve already kind of gone “Yes, I agree with whatever you’ve said”, “I like whatever you’ve said”, “Now, let’s figure out what we do together next”. It’s about bringing your audience together. Whenever I start a presentation, I often started with the words, “I believe”. Then I fill in the blank and so I’ll say something like “I believe in equality”. That’s something most people can gather around and say “yes we believe in equality too”. That gives me the chance to say “I believe in equality”, that’s something I know you believe too, now we can take that forward. Then I will talk about how my belief in equality relates to technology or how that relates to the world that we live in. Starting off with a basic statement about a value system or a principle that you believe, that is a part of who you are or part of the way you think about the issue, can set a good foundation, a good framework for being more persuasive once you get into the nitty-gritty. Whenever you get into the actual content of what you want to talk about. I think what we have to do whenever we’re trying to persuade someone is to start from a common value system. What do we have in common? What do you believe? What do I believe? Where are there touchpoints? Let’s start there. Then we can move into more practicalities, we can move into more ways of achieving that shared vision, that shared ambition. The next time you try to persuade someone, whether you’re presenting in public or you’re just trying to talk your friend or family member into doing something, start with what you believe. What is it that matters to you about this issue? Then see if you can find that common goal, that common identity before you move straight into what you actually want to do.
