Ahmad & Toya share:
10:10 When a man tells you he’s not ready. Respecting it even if you are disappointed. Honesty really is the best policy over ghosting and the lies, especially on the man’s part even if she hates you for it. It lays the foundation.
15:00 Men tend to be retrospective in nature on these matters. Don’t mess up her good thing if you’re not ready.
17:40 The relationship-job analogy. People can follow the work protocols of 2 week notices to maintain a good relationship. The same mentality should be in effect with relationships. Be willing to have honest conversation and give fair notice vs. allowing drama to damage the relationship.
18:27 Reconnecting on chance after 1 year.
22:50 Friendship is the best part of being married. Fighting for vs. against each other when things go south. Your best friend is the person you marry. Breaking out of the “yes” men circle (family and loved ones) and taking an honest look at self, going beyond the surface of dates and vacations. Growing in marriage. It can make you a better person.
24:00 Transitioning your mindset to serving your spouse. Almost divorcing. It takes both spouses working on self for marriage to work. Battling the culture you grew up in. 28:50 Don’t floss. Be the same person you presented yourself to be while pursuing each other and be prepared to grow from there. Don’t have your spouse wondering who they married.
30:47 Men talk on communication and flossing. Most women want authenticity and to feel needed. Get rid of the representative. Authority impresses the (right) woman who sees a partnership. Women are willing to get their hands dirty and put in the work too. Men need to stop letting pride get in the way of a woman helping. End toxic masculinity that’s killing to love between men and women. A woman is a HELPMATE. There’s nothing wrong with help because no one accomplishes anything by themselves.
34:55 Importance of being intentional about rebuilding marriage. Intentional Bible study and family conferences to check in with each other. Intentional questions. Building friendship back up. Making things align in your marriage and modeling your marriage for success goes beyond checking couple stuff off your couple to-do list.
59:54 Her submission is a treasure, a gift and no man is entitled to any gift. What environment are you setting up for her to feel safe and trusting of your leadership.
When a man finds his good thing that becomes his world. Be the man who creates the environment for his wife to rest. The adoption analogy to marriage. Pre-marital sex (don’t do it!). Defining submission in marriage (it’s an US mentality and you can’t force it). Men needing to find more role models and community support on marriage because we need our Black Kings to learn how to create and work towards a successful marriage. Chemistry dies and being intentional even when you don’t feel like it is necessary. Being ready to commit and taking out the (actual) trash.
AND SO MUCH MORE!
You can read the full article here: https://www.blackloverecovery.com/single-black-ladies/the-simmons-love-story
Website: www.blackloverecovery.com
IG: @2loveablackwoman
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/black-love-recovery/episodes/The-Simmons-Love-Story-eo4q20
