Very often the clue that narcissists seem to want control rather than connection can escape others while they are involved with him or her. The crazy-making that occurs in narcissist relationships are often a dance of control and change. Narcissists often attempt to control while others might attempt to connect with them to no avail. There are subtle signs of codependency in narcissist relationships such as; rescuing, fixing and or having a strong sense of obligation to save others in order to meet the objective of either being in control of others, or connecting to others. Unconsciously each might attempt to obtain their objective by using control or change. In order for some who have a narcissistic personality to remain in control of their relationships with others, substance and or alcohol usage might result in others who wish connection to fix, save or rescue their narcissist. There are similar signs of alcoholism and pathological narcissism that might not become apparent until later stages of narcissist relationships. The attempt to save, fix or rescue the narcissist becomes a way that the narcissist remains in control of his or her relationships.
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