This week’s parsha opens with the marriage of Yitzchak (Isaac) and Rivka (Rebekah). When she is re-introduced, Rivkah is specifically noted as “Rivkah the daughter of Betuel the Aramean of Padan Aram, the sister of Lavan the Aramean.” Why is this complicated intro needed? We already know who Rivkah’s family members are! And if she’s being introduced like this, why not Yitzchak too? Rashi, Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki, comments that this seemingly superfluous addition is to specifically emphasize Rivkah’s merit. She was born to an idolatrous, immoral man (Betuel / Bethuel) and is the sister of another idolatrous, immoral man (Lavan / Laban) and yet still turned out a righteous, kind woman. Later, Rashi comments, though, that while Rivkah is to be lauded, Yitzchak’s righteousness is even more impressive. Why? He was the son of Avraham and Sarah! Our absolute models of righteous couple! Rashi explains that because he had to forge his own path of goodness instead of just being like his father and mother, Yitzchak had an even harder task.
There are lots of studies over many years about parenting’s effect on adult functioning. And an endless research question — is it nature or nurture that determines our lives? Our upbringing or our biology?
Both nature and nurture give so little agency to children, though. And it feels like a rather fatalistic thought — that what really matters in our development happens before we are legal adults.
In reading about this parsha, it’s the root question -- do we have control over who we end up being?
We learn, as mentioned before, that Rivkah was righteous in spite of her upbringing. And then we meet Yitzchak and Rivkah’s twin sons, Yaakov and Esav (Jacob and Esau), born after many years of barrenness.
Our sages explain that while she was pregnant with them, Yaakov and Esav fought within her. When she would walk past a place of holiness, Yaakov would move around, and then when she would walk past a place of idolatry, then Esav would move.
If Yaakov and Esav were created by two holy, righteous people (Yitzchak and Rivkah), why should they both not be equally holy and righteous?
How can we fathom that Esav was drawn to wickedness? The Rambam (Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon, Maimonides) explains that there are 2 forms of spiritual service: the individual who desires to do only good, and the one who desires to do evil, but conquers his evil inclination. Yaakov was wholly righteous while Esav was tasked with overcoming evil.
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