Pushed to Favour
Hi, my name is Leah; I am my father’s oldest daughter. They describe me by my eyes; tender, pleasant, delicate, lovely are few of the words used by many to label them. At first, it did not bother me, after all, I came first, and certain privileges come with the position. I enjoyed my father’s undivided attention until my baby sister came. She was stunningly beautiful, pitched side-by-side I did not stand a chance. Life now demanded that I prove myself. Beyond my eyes, I had to have something else. My circumstances made me insecure, always needing to prove that I exist and I matter. I have a lovely heart, and I love my God, I mean the God of my fathers; the idols of the land did not interest me.
My sister and I got on reasonably ok; there were only us two after all until this guy showed up. Rachael had gone to water the flocks this fateful afternoon; she returned with news of some cousin from far away land. The guy was handsome, some dude. He already struck a relationship with my sister, and they looked good together. It's just that somewhere in my heart I find that I am also attracted to him. Time passed, and we gather that Dad had struck some kind of deal with him. He had expressed interest in Rachel and Dad had asked the dowry to be seven years of shepherding. They did not consult me, so I had no say, just some secret desires.
When will my chance come? This guy did not hide the fact that he was in love with my sister, and I could not bear the fact that I liked him. When dad informed me he was going to switch me for my sister, I welcomed the idea. I mean I had been secretly hoping that by some miracle, this guy would be mine and here was my chance. So I grabbed it with all I had.
The night came, and I was packaged and sent off to him. That night was sweet, but the morning was bitter. He woke up and there I was. I saw his disappointment. I was not the desired, and my heart broke in many pieces. He could not divorce me because he already had me, so he was stuck. I knew he did not like the situation at all. He chose to serve another seven years so he could have my sister, the love of his heart. I confess I did not like the feeling of being the unwanted one, so I set out to woo him, I resolved to make him see that my beauty was inner and I was God's answer to his quest.
When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.” (Genesis 29:31-32)
Rachael was still preferred even though she could not bear children. I got pregnant immediately I weaned Reuben. I hoped, at that point, Jacob would look my way in the day. He only showed any affection when he wanted sex. That did not feel good at all, but what could I do, at least he showed something even though it was only in the dark. When Simeon showed up, he was reason to believe that someone had mentioned to God that I was hated. God hears the heart, you know! Then I had my third son, still at the attention-seeking stage. I believed by now; he would be joined to me; I had three sons after all.
I hoped in vain. Levi's arrival did not do the trick. I went again, by that time, I was already getting tired of throwing myself at him, so I chose to look up to God. I decided to praise. Judah arrived, and I had another object of my attention. God was now going to be my stay. I would face God; I got myself to believe He must have a plan in his heart for me. Indeed God had, but I was too consumed with chasing shadows to notice. Even though I was the unloved one, I was still the envy of my little sister; she was barren. She resorted to competition and decided to give her maid to our husband. I chose to do the same, you see, I did not want to lose grounds. Now we were producing children through maids so that we could each secure our positions.
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