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"Evil Dead Rise" meets me as a tempered 30-year-old, married with two kids.

Fede Alvarez's "Evil Dead" met me at 20, boundlessly obsessed with what could be achieved with a fire tanker's worth of blood.

Sam Raimi's "The Evil Dead" stunned me at age 11, the gnarliest movie I'd seen up to that point.

I've grown up loving this franchise, so when I say Lee Cronin's installment left me wanting so much more than I got, take those words with a mine of salt. Even a 6/10 Evil Dead installment has the power to grab your sensibilities, stuff them in a burlap sack, alongside a scorpion and starving monkey, and shake the shit out of it until - something - spills out. Dead by dawn, indeed.

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Opening Song: "Hands" - Moving Mountains