After dealing with practical codependency for a very long time, having to deal with a new problem, different then anything I’ve ever experienced, took me a while to understand how it was still codependency. A different kind, an emotional one, the kind that has an impact on the meaning of life and on my state of wellness. I had a somewhat traumatic culture shock which was the depth of emotional bonds, friendships, in Italy and how it is comparable to relationships here. The depth that friendships gets to here is in most cases not even comparable to the strong bond of a friendship in Italy. I guess I realized how much me, variable X, depend on Variable Y, the people I love, the relationships in my life (this theory I read on a good friend’s essay). I hated my life without variable Y, which made me question if my life is purely dependent on Y. If I could ever live a good life without it, bending all laws of mathematics.
