[...It's always good to be with you, and this week we're going to talk about the benefits of going on the healing journey.
Perhaps you're already on it, maybe you're experiencing some of these benefits, or perhaps you're on the healing journey dissatisfied or nervous. That may be the result someone else gets, but you're not going to get it.
Here is what my heart wants you to know. It takes time. There are ups and downs. But rest assured, you will start to experience some of the things you've been hoping for that you're hearing me or other people talk about. Oftentimes we can't even see the change that's happening within us. But other people can sometimes tell changes happening within you because of what happens on the outside.
So you are changing. Things are turning for your good. It will not always be as hard as it might be today. I've been at this for almost two decades. I recognize it is so layered. There's so much to the healing journey, and in the moments, I have periods where I don't go back to where I used to be because it's a different layer. But I have to remind myself in those times that feel dark and difficult that I'm going to come through them and I'm going to be changed as I come through them.
We've changed as we go through these experiences. We don't come out the same as we did when you go through a low point and you come out of it. You were changing in the middle of it, even if you can't tell. You'll have to take my word for it.
Give yourself time. Healing takes time. But let me get to it.
What are some of the things you can expect on the healing journey? First off, you're going to be able to show up as your authentic self more and more comfortably.
If you're anything like me, I used to walk into a room, wondering what everyone was thinking of me, and change who I was and how I showed up to try and make everyone else comfortable. With hopes that everyone would be happy with me or would like me. Most of that was subconscious. I wasn't thinking about all those things, but underneath the surface, that's what was going on.
Over time, again, without me even realizing it. healing was happening and I was more and more comfortable in my own body with myself, so I was able to show up and be me without the same amount of shame. Without the fear, and having to apologize less and less.
I used to say I'm sorry all the time. I was sorry for just being me. Why does that happen? Oftentimes when we are very young before we even remember, things happened when we were little, that impacted us tremendously.
We don't even remember. We learn what makes our caregivers, our parental figures, happy, and our goal in life really, truly is to be accepted, to be loved, and even better, to be liked.
We notice especially certain personalities, certain types of people more than others are going to be connected and in tune with our caregiver's facial expressions. What their attitudes are towards us, they're emotional states.
But what we don't recognize as kids is there's so much playing into why our parents or our caregivers show up the way they are.
It's not all about us, but we think it is. It's a very childlike thing to walk into a room and think it's all about us. The more we grow emotionally the hope is that we recognize everything isn't about us. People are talking, but they're probably talking about something not related to us, and there are a lot of us adults that still think everything's about us, and I don't say that critically I'm only shining light on that to say, as we heal, we worry less about what other people think. We don't internalize everyone's reactions, emotional states, or facial expressions as a reflection of us...]
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