Alan does a great job getting Bre to divulge her most recent dive into the dating scene, starting with a funny story where she crushed this guy...physically [& maybe emotionally] on a date hike. Alan being out of the dating scene for many years is curious what it’s like now, so Bre shares her different experiences now living in a smaller town & most recently trying Bumble. Alan met his wife through work & shares that they were friends before moving into the romantic space. Jessica is a strong, bold woman & made some not so subtle hints. They discuss the challenge for males in the modern era with approaching a female & not overstepping & honoring boundaries. The female wingwoman is a solid move! They coin the term Mansumption. How do y’all feel about The Hunter & The Hippie dating service?
Alan shares the idea of interdependence. Each individual having his or her own goals & family goal & then supporting each other; getting there separately together. Bre takes us through our breathwork for the day. Alan observes his breath as he was thinking about relationships. Breath patterns are directly related to emotions. You can feel relaxed & “negative” emotions. Alan discusses how we have freedom to action in the United States which is awesome but we have become so action oriented that we have forgotten to just be with whatever is there. Embrace the tears & also take time to embrace the happiness. They pick apart this idea of seasons of relationships. Being 100% in but showing up looks different throughout these seasons. The conversation moves into commitment & what that looks like. Time is the only real test of someone’s commitment through the hard times. Our partnerships are a mirror for our own self. Take the time to reflect on yourself when you’re triggered in a relationship. How can we reset & have a fresh perspective in every relationship, every moment… that’s the Yoga. They breakdown the idea of “The Spark.” Alan talks about lust [even if it’s intellectual] versus a more sustainable connection, love. When the relationship gets ugly, what do you have to fall back on? Relationships- romantic or friendships- take work. Relationships take work to create what you want and need from your partner. There are a lot of factors that go into creating “the spark” with someone. It is important to continue fuel the fire - “WOOD” is a good fuel. Creating a good relationship requires 100% accountability. Poor behavior in a relationship is inexcusable, but it is your choice on how you respond to create your future relationships. Bre brings up the book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Alan and Bre talk a bit about this and how important it is to understand how people show love and give love. What you seek is seeking you.You must work on loving yourself and understand that what you are thinking about yourself and what you see in others is what is going to come back to you. It is important for you to grow, and it is important for the people in your relationships to see growth as well, this can change friendships. Alan talks about not being yourself and how unhealthy it is for us having to switch between characters in our story. Bre makes a great point about relationships ending - no one is right or wrong. Are the people in your circle “your biggest fans”?! Be protective of your energy and your time. You should ask yourself if you should be in the relationships you are in. Ask yourself, “Is this relationship serving me?” You must show up for yourself first - your cup must be full in order to give to others. Part of doing the work is making sure you are communicating. Say the thing! Make it be known how you feel! How you are in your relationships helps you create and cultivate who your friends are and how all of you grow together. Alan and Bre go back to the 5 love languages and discuss their own love language. Journal Prompt! Journal about your relationships, both romantic and plutonic.
