Description

Self abandonment can be described as "...rejecting, suppressing or ignoring part of yourself in real-time. In other words, you have a need or desire you want to meet, and (often on the spot) you make the decision not to meet it.

This typically comes from a place of fear, guilt, shame, etc. Sometimes we self abandon out of the need to be safe in our environment, and that's okay. However, when in a safe environment, there is no need to repress or reject anymore, so it is nice to have awareness of this concept. 

Self abandonment is something I have an extensive history of. From repressing my inner artist, to my sexuality, to my needs for rest, or even my ethnic/religious background, I have left many parts of myself in the dust. This, (for me and my experience), has manifested in gnarly depressive episodes, a permanent vocal injury, an eating disorder, and on. I am grateful for the reflecting I did in this area. It led me to recognize the abandoning I did. Now, I do my best to honor any and every part of me (given my safety is not at jeopardy) and I must say, it is hella f*cking empowering. 

It is nothing to be ashamed of and something worth being aware of. You are who you are, your needs are what they are, and the more we do not honor ourselves, the more we abandon, the more we may hurt inside. And that's no fun. 

"Here are two questions you can apply to any situation to determine if you are operating from self-abandonment:

1. "For what reason am I making this decision?" If the answer involves guilt, shame, fear, timidity or generally negative emotions, you might be in abandonment mode.
2. "If I were the only person on earth, would I still want to do ___?"This removes other people's influence from your decision-making and frees you up to determine how you actually feel."

Source:

https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/April-2018/Are-You-a-Chronic-Self-Abandoner