I want to talk to you today about narcissistic abuse recovery coaching - specifically those programs like the coaching recovery programs that I offer at elevated aura. programs that are run by survivors of narcissistic abuse who are certified life coaches. And that is because I recently was shamed for offering narcissistic abuse recovery coaching by a trauma therapist on Instagram.
After spending 60+ hours in a classroom learning from a master certified coach, reading a 1,000-page workbook, spending 16+ hours coaching practice clients, passing an online quiz, and an oral exam, I became a certified life coach. My plan originally was to become certified just so that when I wrote the book about my own life, my own experience discovering narcissism, and the aftermath of going no contact, I would have some credibility talking about mental health and the brain. Surviving wasn’t good enough of a qualification for me.
Only once I became a coach and I realized how much I enjoyed it did I ever consider actually working with survivors of narcissistic abuse on a one-on-one basis. See, when I was working with my practice clients - all of whom had parents with narcissistic personality disorder - I was able to show up for them in a way that I wished my therapist had been able to show up for me. See I absolutely loved my therapist - her validation of what was going on in my life was absolutely instrumental in my recovery. If I hadn’t been validated, who the fuck knows where i may be right now.
However, I reached a point where after I had been in therapy for a year and I was still using that time to unload what exactly had happened in my life, not even just childhood, but feelings I had related to my wedding. I was spending $120 per session, at about four sessions each month, for a total of $480 a month just to bitch about these people in my life who treated me like shit. I did this for a year - spending almost $500 a month just sharing stories from my childhood, and I really wasn’t feeling better.
My therapist had also started a weekly group therapy session where survivors of narcissistic abuse would come together and share what was going on in our lives. My therapist confided in me that as one of two clients she had whose narcs were their parents, she hoped that my story would help inspire those who had narc partners to further investigate their childhood, as most of them likely had narcissistic parents. But after a few weeks of spending hours away from my family, my baby puppy, only to hear about how someone’s abusive ex sent a mean text message, I dropped out of the group therapy sessions.
It’s one thing to have to end things with an ex - I’m not saying it’s not painful at all. Trust me, before I met my husband I experienced those breakups where I felt like the world was ending, my stomach hurt, I couldn’t eat, sleep, or function all that well at work.
But it’s a whole other fucking ball game when your parents, your mother, your father, would rather have absolutely nothing to do with you than treat you with decency and respect. It’s hard to compare the loss of your family of origin to a romantic encounter. And while I had sympathy for these women who were up to their eyeballs in debt and trying to provide a happy, loving home for their children while being texted an encyclopedia of insults, I just couldn’t relate to their stories.
So that’s why I became a certified life coach specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery. I wanted to be there for others who are lost and confused and trying to find the perfect combination of words that will help their parents wake up and realize they are hurting their child.
Not every therapist or survivor may like me or my program, but I’m not going anywhere. This work is too important.
#narcissism #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #estranged #nocontact #gaslighting #innerchildhealing #healingjourney #innerchild
