Wesnesday of Holy Week
"Mt 26:14-25"
Judas Iscariot went to the chief priests and said, "What will you give me if I deliver him to you?" And they paid him thirty pieces of silver...When it was evening, he sat at table with the twelve disciples; and as they were eating, he said, "Truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me...The Son of man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born." Judas, who betrayed him, said, "Is it I, Master?" He said to him, "You have said so."
Oh dear! Judas! Judas!! What had happened to him? Where is the Judas who was a chosen Apostle? Where is the man whom Jesus met and told, "Come, follow me"? Judas did follow Our Lord, he heard Him, he saw His miracles, and surely, he loved Jesus for a while. Had he forgotten the days on which he saw wonders and went to sleep smiling, regardless of being exhausted and having to sleep in the open? Judas, someone so privileged! "Many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you saw, and did not see it, and to hear what you heard, and did not hear it".
When did Judas start feeling disappointed? When did he start taking for granted those times he spent with Jesus? When did he become inattentive or insensitive to His Words? When did he start thinking about himself and his future, his plans, instead of thinking about what Jesus was telling him? When did he stop praying? When did he stop telling Jesus what was going on in his soul? It was then that Judas started rating Jesus in coins; it was then that his betrayal began. Because that betrayal didn't happen overnight. It was a slow distancing, a slippery slope from which Jesus could have saved him if he had only asked for help...
But why didn't he come back to Jesus afterwards? It didn't matter what he had done; Jesus would have forgiven him everything. Why? Why didn't he go to Him - repentant - and kiss Him again but this time out of love and not fear? Judas did know how much Jesus loved him. He could have imagined how much Jesus cried for him! Judas! Why didn't he come back, like Peter and Mary Magdalene and Dimas (the Good Thief) and Paul... and me? If it was too difficult, he could always have asked for Our Lady's help!
