In this week’s episode Kellie and Claire take a look at what it means to be able to tolerate uncertainty. They explore some common scenarios where people (and service families, in particular) have pain points with uncertainty. They explore the scientific aspects of “intolerance of uncertainty,” paying particular attention to what prolonged periods of the ensuing stress can do to our mental health. As always they offer up some practical strategies of how becoming aware of this phenomenon and what to do about it can help in day to day life.
Advice Not Given
- We start with a brief list of things that cause us feelings of uncertainty: kids’ first sleepovers, kids and driving/tracking apps, tryouts for sports, waiting on medical results. In military life, we wait out deployments, have uncertainty over safety and homecoming timelines; PCS orders/moving, and our service member’s career--all big stressors
- We question why are we feeling like life is so hard all of the time, when in truth, there are psychological reasons why. Kellie suggests that being able to label and identify what the problem is, she can more easily approach these challenges more clearly and with more grace for herself
- When you ignore the effects of your intolerance to uncertainty, there are actually mental and physical health concerns that may start to pop up: anxiety, depression, and compulsive disorders can be signs that you may not be coping well and the impact and ripple effects should not be ignored
- Claire brings up the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale which is a tool used to determine how likely you are to have a major health issue based on stressful events in your life; there are 43 life events with point values and scores higher than 300 point to an 80% chance you will have a major health event--military life makes it difficult to score below a 300 with moving and job changes
- Intolerance of Uncertainty is a real thing; Kellie references an interesting study about how uncertainty is even more stressful than KNOWING something bad is going to happen. She goes on to share about a Forbes article that affirms that uncertainty IS worse than knowing when bad things are to come. Technology has even adapted to our human behavior surrounding this issue, Uber for example gives us reassurance of who our driver is, and the GPS features allows us to watch the driver come to us
- Some common behaviors that people express when they are uncomfortable or intolerant of uncertainty can be metaphorically compared to having allergies. They best way to treat it is to build up a tolerance to it by introducing uncertainty in smaller doses. Kellie thinks she is about a 4 on a 1-10 scale and Claire is an 8 or 9 in terms of being “allergic” to uncertainty
- Often we will seek excessive reassurance from others; This isn’t much of an issue for Kellie, but Claire recalls her search for an outer committee when she doesn’t feel like she can rely on her “inner” committee. Claire goes to people and Kellie turns to research
- List making is another coping mechanism
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