There is a lot going on when we feel two conflicting emotions at the same time. We can cry and laugh at the same time. Be fearful yet overjoyed. The resurrection of Jesus produces many feelings. Readings for Today.
Fearful, yet overjoyed
It really is hard to imagine what types of feelings are present in the two readings we hear today. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary knew Jesus had died. They witnessed his crucifixion. They prepared his body for burial. How could they have seen him now alive?
Peter was so afraid at the death of Jesus he denied even knowing him. And yet in today's first reading he is proclaiming not only that he knows him, but more than that. "God raised this Jesus; of this we are all witnesses." How can this be?
It can often be the case that we find ourselves in a world that does not believe in the truly miraculous. Sure, we use the term miracle. But referencing a miraculous comeback in sports, or calling something a miracle only because it turned out so well, these things are not miracles.
But someone rising from the dead? How can that be? As the prophet Isaiah asks, "Who would believe what we have heard?" And for Mary Magdalene and the other Mary, the question is this: "Who would believe what we have seen?"
The accounts of the resurrection of Jesus were seen as nonsense by the apostles. And who could blame them? Who of us, mourning the loss of a loved one, would accept easily an account by someone who loved the deceased that they have now seen him? Would we not think that perhaps this was a psychological problem?
But the women know what they have experienced. They do what the Risen Christ tells them to do. And the others have similar experiences of the Risen Christ and come to believe that he is truly risen.
And consider Peter. He couldn't admit to even knowing Jesus. Even after encountering the Risen Christ, Peter hides with the other apostles in fear. And yet, Jesus fulfills his promises. He sends the promised Advocate, and Peter is so changed he can now preached boldly before others.
Does the resurrection change you? Have you thought about the question? Have you considered how your faith impacts your life? Do you live any differently because of what Jesus has done for you? How the Holy Spirit has come into your life?
We live in a world it can be difficult to see the presence of God. And yet we have been celebrating these past few days, the Easter Triduum and Easter, the outstanding truth that God cares so much for us. God forgives sins. Heals brokenness. Does the miraculous.
And God does this for you. God wants to do more for you. God wants you to know how much it is that he loves you. How much it is that he wants to do miraculous things in your life, just as he did for the apostles.
Look for God. Seek God. Search for those ways to discover that God is active in your life. Ask God for the grace that you too might feel fearful yet overjoyed.
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