Every so often I come across lists posted on the internet that people come up with to help apply correct grammar to common words or expressions we use. I find them helpful if for no other reason than to reinforce my memory. However, I have yet to see a list of emotionally filled expressions people routinely use to deflect personal responsibility.
So, allow me to offer the following examples.
1) “That makes me so angry!”
2) “That frustrates me to no end!”
3) “That leaves me feeling depressed!”
4) “It’s just driving me crazy!”
5) “That worries me!”
Do you see the pattern? In each case we are attributing how we feel to something going on around us as if people or circumstances force us to feel a certain way.
Children do this all the time. “He made me cry!” or “He made me mad!” But the time must come for all of us when we leave such childish irresponsibility behind.
1) “That makes me so angry!” No, you choose to be angry with that.
2) “That frustrates me to no end!” No, you choose to be frustrated with it.
3) “That leaves me feeling depressed!” Nope, you choose to let it get you down.
4) “It’s just driving me crazy!” No, that’s on you. You choose to let it bother you like that.
5) “That worries me!” No, worrying about that is your choice. No one is forcing you to worry.
You see, as long as we blame someone or something for our reaction, we make it all but impossible for God to help us with our reaction. Why? because we are saying, in effect, that until he changes so-and-so or changes our challenging circumstance, we will continue reacting as we are. That’s like being diagnosed with a malignant tumor that needs to come out and yet telling the surgeon that he needs to confront so-and-so and then our tumor will go away.
Jesus made it clear that what defiles us comes from within us — from within our hearts — not from anything outside of us. So it’s not people or circumstances in our lives that need to change so that we feel better, what we need is a change of heart.
