I am determined to have the last day of my life on earth also be the most helpful day I’ve lived, which is to say, the most prayerful.
But if that is going to be possible, I need to practice now how to keep growing in helpfulness even under circumstances of extreme duress when everything in me wants to quit. Why? Because the chances are good that barring a sudden fatal accident or event, the time will come when my body is going to fight shutting down every step of the way, leaving precious little mental energy for prayer or any selfless thoughts.
That Jesus was helpful to his dying breath, most notably helping his mother and the dying thief at his side, was not a given. Such capacity to remain helpful amid unspeakable mental anguish was the fruit of steady devotion to God amid all kinds of trials leading up to those moments.
During the rough and tumble of his daily life he had “learned obedience through what he suffered,” that is, through experiencing the heartbreaking resistance to the love of God he constantly encountered. He used those agonizing moments to learn obedience, that is, to be that much more focused on seeking and saving anyone the least bit interested. Practice made perfect, and on the cross he demonstrated a completeness of self-giving helpfulness that no amount of unspeakable brutality could curtail.
Hence, who I will be on my last day is being determined by who I am choosing to be today.
