This week, I record a therapy session with my therapist, who understandably wished to remain anonymous. The result is this unedited peek inside my brain and our personal therapy.
I talk about what is on my mind: this very episode (how meta) and the pressure and anxiety I feel about it in the moment. Is it still authentic? Can it be? Is it different? How is it different? What calculations did my therapist have to make before agreeing to do this? Was she nervous to do this too?
We discuss my block with money -- making it, asking for it, deserving it, participating in the economy. All of it. With my Patreon looming on the horizon, this struggle to ask for money weighs on me heavily. It feels wrong and uncomfortable. Why? Would it be easier if I had a tangible service or product I was offering? Why does it feel like I'm tricking people? Am I tricking myself? Have I ever had fun making money? Do I know what I'm doing? How does my anxiety manifest itself? Does money take me out of the moment? How do you make money without it becoming validation for your art? Are edibles the only time I allow myself to be in the moment? Why do I have to endure pain or hardship before allowing myself a reward or "deserving" fun? The whole conversation features the privilege demon rearing its horned head and ends with a brief conversation about self-care.
What are you doing for self-care this week? Let us know on Instagram @nakedmanpod or reach out to us at nakedmanpod@gmail.com. Better yet, give us a call at 747-231-7120 and share your thoughts and feelings with us.
