As the world barrels toward its violent end next Friday, we decided to take our time machine back 30 years to a simpler time. A time when creature makeup and effects were delightfully simpler, a time when movie sidekicks didn’t have to make sense, and a time when you could reasonably expect to see some titties for your 9 dollars and 75 cents. Some movies are good, others are bad, but 1982’s Swamp Thing is pretty neutral. What this fantasy hero lacks in providing a body count, he makes up for in throwing the bad guys around. Joining the monster formerly known as Dr. Alec Holland are a spunky scientist who’s not afraid to show a little side boob, an underage, mentally handicapped entrepreneur and a mutated midget. “How could this NOT turn out to be awesome?”, you’re probably asking. I wish I knew, but somehow Wes Craven failed us. On a brighter note, Corey and I devise a fool-proof plan to get America out of the recession – listen in, and start writing your congressmen NOW!