Lately, while working through my own illegible life script, I’ve been identifying some unsettling, troublesome bits. Instead of gently flagging them and continuing onward, allowing the questions of
“why am I troubled by that? What does it mean?”
to just be there in the background, I’ve stopped in place, gnashing my teeth and wailing
“Why is this in my script?!? I don’t understand it!!! I don’t want it here! Give me something prettier to say! to work with!”
I can’t afford to give the writers a raise so this is the script I’ve got. For now. But it’s a perfectly fine script. And I know the work to do on it . . . I know how to do it. And on my better days (and there are many of them, something else for me to remember) I also trust that in those troublesome bits, those riddles, some potential for transformation lies. But I can’t go at ‘em with hammer and thongs.
Maybe personal revelation will come. Maybe it won’t. But in the interim, I’m getting work done on the rest of the script. And life goes on.
Related Posts from the Boozemusings Blog:
Are You Maybe Sober Curious? An Invitation to Imagine The Life that Sobriety Cultivates
Freely Feeling – Sober the Highs and Lows
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