Should you date when you're still processing past trauma, or do you wait until you're "whole"?
It's a question so many of us wrestle with, especially after heartbreak, disappointment, or any season that's left us with wounds we're still working through. And the advice we usually hear is: "Don't date until you're healed. Work on yourself first. You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself."
I get it. I understand the heart behind that advice. But I also think it's more complicated than that.
In this solo episode, I'm challenging the idea that you need to be "fully healed" before you can date. Because here's what I've come to believe: healing is a lifelong journey. If we wait until we're perfectly healed, perfectly whole, perfectly put together, we might be waiting forever. And in the process, we might miss out on beautiful connections and relationships that could actually support our healing journey.
I'm making a critical distinction between dating to avoid healing (using someone as a distraction or Band-Aid) and dating while actively healing (doing the work while inviting someone to walk alongside you). We'll explore what it means to be "ready enough," how to know if you're dating from wholeness-in-progress or from emptiness looking to be filled, and why the right person won't need you to be perfect; they'll love you in process.
We're also diving into what the Bible says about loving people who are still broken and flawed, exploring biblical examples of imperfect people who loved and were loved, and discussing how God demonstrates love for us "while we were still sinners", not after we got it all together.
I'll share practical questions to ask yourself to know if you're ready to date while healing, red flags that indicate you need more time alone, and how to choose someone who will support your growth rather than hinder it.
This episode isn't about rushing into relationships before you're ready. It's about releasing the pressure to be perfect before you're worthy of love. It's about understanding that dating and healing can go hand in hand if you're doing it with intention, honesty, and self-awareness.
If you've been told you need to wait until you're "fixed" to date, if you're wondering whether it's selfish to pursue connection while you're still healing, or if you're navigating what it means to love someone (or be loved) while you're both works in progress, this conversation is for you.
