I haven’t been writing much lately. I’ve felt emotionally bloated, stunted, like something’s on the tip of my fingers just waiting to be set free and I keep holding it back. I think what I’ve learned about writing for the internet is that I need to be “stronger” than I actually am or, at least, I need to give less fucks than I actually do. The problem is I actually give too many fucks. I am deeply affected by criticism, especially when I feel it is unfair or unwarranted and personally directed at me or people I care for, or anyone, or just humans who are trying to light up their corner of the world. I know this is uncool to admit and the Company Line Of The Internet is IGNORE EVERYONE, but I am not very good at that.
If you think strength is being an asshole or a bitch or being snarky or sitting up on a high horse judging others for how they’re not living up to your image of perfection, then you have never experienced true strength. Strength is not the loudest person in the room, demanding everyone look their way. Strength does not create anonymous accounts and spew what should be self-directed frustration onto others. Strength does not promote the kind of selfishness which requires using other people as a means to elevation. Strength is not push, push, push, force, force, force, anger, anger, anger. Strength is not hate. Strength is not projecting bullshit, half-hatched assumptions onto others. These things require nothing! They are the lowest common denominator reactions to life.
Strength is fucking earned. Strength comes from enduring. Strength comes from facing down the call to hate and then softening against the world. Strength is love and the courage necessary to face yourself and all the ugly and beautiful parts of life that comes with that.
It takes actual courage to open-heartedly love and to be tolerant of people you do not understand. There is bravery in seeing the light in others, even when they cannot see it in themselves. Virtue can be seen in those who deny themselves the easy path of judgment and, instead, seek to educate themselves in an effort to empathize. There is strength in caring about more than just yourself and vowing to add more love into the world with your actions, words, time, and energy. It takes a bold person to be known, truly, by others, to be seen and to let their heart guide their way, instead of their prejudices, especially when it would be the far easier and more comfortable path to follow prejudice.
It is strength to stand for something which is to the benefit of humanity, not just the benefit of one. It is not easy. It is not simple. It takes work. It takes healing. It takes commitment and dedication and awareness and consciousness. It takes a constant effort, a constant reminding that love is pure, love is strong, and love does win. It takes more than the easiest way out. And, that’s why it’s rare. But, that’s also why we need it. We need little heroes, people who will dedicate themselves to the light, to goodness, to love. We need that far more than we need more snark, more pointed judgments. We need so much less of that and so much more love....
