Boundaries are becoming a real buzz word these days....i see a lot of posts and talk about setting and keeping boundaries and talk a lot about this with my clients as a way to self care and preserve your well being...your emotional and physical health.
but you may be asking yourself...WHAT DOES THAT REALLY MEAN?? what counts as a boundary? what scenarios need them? what self-care is it REALLY providing???
Listen in if you are someone who often feels limited by circumstance, if you are regularly affected by those around you, if you ever feel guilted into a commitment or decision, if you carry resentment or exhaustion due to the MANY roles you play....
TOPICS by time stamp:
What it means to set a boundary
4:47- Poor Boundary setting
6:54- What counts as a boundary
8:20- Some types of boundaries
11:11- How to set a Boundary
11:14- Focus on your Behavior ( if you_____, I will _____)
12:35- Not changing other people's behavior, Accepting them for where they are at
13:44- Make your decisions w/o explanation, saying no effectively, saying yes truthfully
17:10- Only take responsibility for communicating your boundary, not other people's reaction to it.
19:07- Barriers to Boundary Setting
19:22- Being responsible for other people's happiness
21:42- Boundaries require a level of confrontation
23:34- We weren't taught how or didn't grow up thinking we deserved boundaries
25:00 Results from building your boundary muscle
25:20- Increase self esteem, self respect, clear communication, helps you honor individuality
27:00- Boundaries with kids
28:17- Sharing my story
32:40- Unintentionally stepping away from my authority
33:20- Negotiating and implementing my own mindset reframe
33:40- Pushing back is a normal part of child development- it is our job to guide that inclination in the right direction
34:38- Kids can't MAKE you do anything, they can just make it uncomfortable for us to follow through ( example from swim practice)
37:05- Violations are not about disrespect, they do not villanize you. We aren't the bad guys....we are the CEO with a vision that our employees (kids) just can see yet
40:25- Kids can't "make you look bad" and reasons why...
45:00- Fair is a relative term. Personally, I found confidence holding boundaries because boundaries infuse choice within measured freedom
46:27- Example of complaining about school lunch leads to a boundary communication.
I maintain my leadership while still giving my children the freedom to live life anyway they chose as long as they take responsibility for their choices.
47:53- The Game Changer.....and how it relates back to adulthood
Links to What was talked about
Brooke Castillo: The Life Coach School
Boundaries with Kids by Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend
PLUS:
If you liked this episode, please come on over and join the Find Your Freedom Tribe Facebook Group
You can also browse Heart Centered You Website- Take a look at Free Resources OR schedule a FREE Discovery Call with deb
On Tap Next Week: Storytelling....Ironman and the Growth Mindset
