In this episode, I sit down with sexologist, medical doctor, and researcher Dr Jess Wade to explore the biology, psychology, and mystery of female pleasure. Together, we unpack the tension between what research can measure and what still feels ineffable about sexuality.
We discuss cervical orgasms, the role of the vagus nerve, and why some researchers believe orgasm may function as a selective process in mate choice - but this conversation moves far beyond theory.
I share a deeply personal reflection on noticing a pattern in my own intimate life - using pelvic floor clenching to reach orgasm - and what it means to interrupt a nervous system habit in pursuit of deeper pleasure. Jess also shares her lived experience navigating chronic pelvic pain, and how this ultimately reshaped her relationship to perfectionism, performance, and presence in the bedroom.
⏱️ Timestamps:
00:01:08 – Rom coms & vacation sex
00:06:19 – Politics in the feed & switching off
00:08:49 – Inside the orgasm response
00:11:55 – Myths, pressure & pleasure as sacred
00:15:58 – Cervical orgasm, nerves & sensation
00:26:28 – Rethinking the orgasm gap
00:36:23 – Rewiring orgasm patterns
00:45:06 – Hypertonic pelvic floor & chronic pain
01:16:36 – Why pelvic care is women’s health
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🔗 Get in touch with Dr Jess Wade:
