Show notes provided by Jack Adrien
From its humble beginnings selling textile remnants, three brothers founded Hassenfeld Brothers in Providence, Rhode Island, in late 1923. Some six decades later, and more than a few corporate evolutions, its corporate decedent, Hasbro Industries, found it easier to promote its toy and entertainment products (e.g., comic book publication) directly to its prime customers (i.e., children) via daily, syndicated thirty-minute animated television series.
Given that Hassenfeld Brothers produced the first twelve-inch G.I. Joe “action figure” in 1964, the toyline stands as one of the company’s notable legacy properties. Hasbro relaunched the property as G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, a 3.75-inch (9.5 centimeter) scale toyline in 1982 with a corresponding Marvel Comics series, leading to a five-part G.I. Joe mini-series in 1983 (later titled “The M.A.S.S. Device”), and the full G.I. Joe: Real American Hero series in 1985 that ran for ninety-five episodes, ending on Thursday, November 20, 1986.
Originally planned for a theatrical release, unexpected production delays led to Hasbro releasing The Transformers: The Movie feature before G.I. Joe: The Movie. Moreover, the poor box office performance of fellow Hasbro-owned properties My Little Pony: The Movie on Friday, June 06, 1986, and The Transformers: The Movie release on Friday, August 08, 1986, respectively, led to Hasbro choosing to release the G.I. Joe feature film direct-to-video and airing on television in syndication, first in its entirety and later as a five-part miniseries.
With a current 43 percent Rotten Tomatoes rating, G.I. Joe: The Movie neither captured the audience’s imagination when it was released nor reignited nostalgic goodwill in the nearly forty years since. Whereas the visually dynamic three-minute opening sequence highlights everything we loved about the animated series, including the surprise revision of the show’s theme song with Cobra-specific lyrics, the actual story was a hot mess. In a nutshell, the movie reveals that the Cobra terrorist organization was created by an ancient human/snake/insectoid hybrid Cobra-La civilization, led by Golobulus, refuged in the Himalayas as humanity evolved across the globe. Further, the movie retconned the Cobra leader, Cobra Commander, as a Cobra-La sleeper agent. Cobra-La’s evil plan: launch hundreds of techno-organic pods into orbit to spread spores that will devolve humanity into mindless snake beasts. Serpentor (trust us, he would take too much time to explain in these show notes) leads Cobra’s senior management to help Cobra-La execute its plan in exchange for preserving their humanity. Written by Ron Friedman, who also wrote The Transformers: The Movie, both movies share similar story elements (i.e., celebrity voice actors, new hero recruits, new antagonists, the “death” of a beloved leader, and a world-ending threat that requires the new leader to save the day).
Join the Mint Condition crew of James, Kevin, Keith, and John as we discuss what works or doesn’t with the new characters, uncredited story consultant and animated series wriBuzz Dixon’s original story ideas, and so many missed opportunities. You will know the movie’s true purpose (hint: introduce new characters to sell more toys) and unrealized potential. And knowing is half the battle.
Yooo, Joe!