Creating comfortable family traditions and reducing stress with gift giving
It’s that time of year again. A month until ‘Bowe week’ – the crazy week in my family where we ended up with our wedding anniversary, plus the two kids’ birthdays all falling within the same 7 days. No, I didn’t plan it that way!
My oldest daughter’s birthday is a month before Christmas, and the SECOND it’s over she will want to put the Christmas tree. In fact, she’s already asked to put up the tree and we haven’t even made it through Halloween yet. She’s that person who loves Christmas more than life. There’s a version of me in the past which finds this so unrelatable. But children are here to teach us right? So I reframe it as endearing. So endearing that I bought her this birthday card that has a care bear next to a Christmas tree saying “me on November 1st”
It’s sweet, because it reminds me of one of my dear friends who is obsessed with Christmas. This is where James Brown comes in. Circa early 2000 and something when we started the tradition of tree trimming at Al’s house. Back when none of us had kids. Al had a cat called Jo-Jo (as in “Get Back, JoJo” from the Beatles song) but he ended being referred to simply as Joey. We used to wrap him in tinsel and ‘help’ him put baubles on the tree. I actually struggle to listen to that Concrete Blonde song ‘Joey’ without getting a bit misty eyed. It’s kind of embarrassing when there’s no context for it…
It’s no secret that I used to hate Christmas. The panic buying, the ‘just be cheerful’ police who don’t understand mental health, and the ick factor of being ‘a good girl’ so a random old dude gives you presents and asks you to sit on his knee. Don’t get me started on the music.
Al saw it as her personal mission to convert Christmas grinches, by gently introducing the idea of creating your own traditions. James Brown’s Funky Christmas album is where it started. Forget Mariah, forget Buble, for me, James Brown’s Santa Claus going straight to the Ghetto is where it’s at.
While searching for the Bluey album on vinyl, I thought I’d search for this specific James Brown Christmas album while I was there. You can find the screen shot on my blog at www.doctorerin.com.au/blog but I’ll describe it here.
Basically, if you search “james brown funky christmas’ you’ll be directed to fishpond. In the top section with the search categories you’ll see that this album is listed under ‘massage tools’
Is James Brown considered a ‘massage tool?’
I mean, I have an anecdote about Barry White (it’s G – rated, I might share it one day). I can appreciate that many women over 35 have a thing for Boyz 2 Men, but I absolutely couldn’t keep a straight face if someone tried to seduce me to their music.
At one of my first jobs, I shared an office with someone who had delightful sound alerts that would appear whenever she got an email or a text. One was James Brown yelling “woowwww I feel good” and the other was “get on up!” suffice to say, that’s a ‘no’ from me about the possibility of James Brown being a relaxation or massage tool!
You can absolutely make your own traditions. Something we do is “want need wear read” for birthday and Christmas. With the add on of a sister present for birthdays (because our kids’ birthdays are 2 days apart) and we do a STEM present. Even if our kids ask for the most commercial, gender normed crap they are also remembering the value of women in science and technology!
