I Feel Like I've Tried Everything - Is this statement the biggest miss?
Whenever I hear a client tell me that they perceive they “have tried everything”, I know they’ve missed the most obvious thing.
In fact, I wish I had a dollar for every single time I heard this phrase about someone on their healing journey.
Clients often boast of the list of things they’ve done to resolve their issue.
They’ve set goals, created vision boards, put reminders in their phones, changed their routines, sampled every single diet known to mankind, taken expensive supplements and tried various therapies.
Their lists are expansive and exhaustive.After twenty years of running a therapeutic space, I have one thing that my clients haven’t tried — reviewing their perception of themselves.
Your self-image is critical to any change process.
So often, we look outside of ourselves to problem-solve something that is actually an internal issue.
Your thoughts, feelings, and subsequent behaviours come from within you — these emotional aspects are a part of you.You can’t cut that part out of you, nor can you stop it by pushing a button, taking a tablet or drinking a potion.
You can however, learn to accept and hopefully love these emotional parts of yourself.I ask clients (who have ‘tried everything’), what their worst perception is of themselves — I am treated with a stunned look or blank face.
Sometimes I wish I had a camera to capture their reaction, because it’s so dramatic.If the person is brave enough, they will admit their negative self-beliefs.
These deep and dark confessions sound like –* not good enough* hopeless* unworthy. It’s word vomit like this that dissolved your positive foundation. I use the metaphor “think of your body as a house”.
When you have strong positive beliefs, the foundation of your house is solid and grounded. But when you experience thoughts and feelings that are negative, you’ve got termites.
Negative self-beliefs eat away at your confidence —using the metaphor, negativity destabilises your walls and roof, letting in the outside weather.
Imagine looking at a termite-infested house, with rotting walls and holes in the roof.
Go on, imagine that right now.Imagine trying to relax or get warm during a storm, with the rain and wind gusting through all those holes. Imagine how uncomfortable you’d become.
This is what happens to your body when your belief in self becomes negative.
When you continue with negative self-beliefs you erode your inner world-
To stabilise your emotional foundations, I use a combination of modalities and tools to support my clients in defusing the negative emotional energy associated with their lowered self-belief.
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