Celebrating Valentine’s Day feels like admitting you’re a rube. A bouquet of red roses is a white flag of surrender.
What I’m saying is, for those of you who say Valentine’s Day isn’t a big deal, I see you. A penny for the thoughts of all opticians in the country who have to prescribe glasses for all the men who once hearing ati today is Valentine’s Day, they rolled their eyes so hard their cornea is permanently stuck at the corner. We see you, all pun intended.
The amorous estuary of Valentine’s Day is befouled by the flotsam of capitalism but it needn’t remain thus polluted forever. I also don’t understand what I just wrote up there but it is what it is.
This episode is coming late (ahem) because people were delivering Valentine’s Day gifts. Thus, I was thrust, pardon the pun, to the end of the line and I just remembered that some of you will be listening to this in bed, in the warm embrace of your drained and fully orgasmed partner (hopefully) drowned in a sea of romance, screaming you-know-what and taking the Lord’s name in vain. I’m not jealous, you’re jealous.
If, for some of you, you have not received even a pithy text message to acknowledge your existence, or you shaved but have still not been deemed worthy to sacrifice your gift to serve the Lord, ahem, usijali. This world is not our home, we are simply sojourners.
We had one of Kenya’s most beautiful damsels in studio, petite mummy, the kind of girl you’d willingly go to jail for. It also happens that she is Trio Mio’s sister. Ahaaaaaa! Now, go on and comfort yourself with our voices and cry yourself to sleep tonight because when others wanatumiwa fare, you, you are saying life is not fair.
