The thing about Tatu ‘Katakundu’ Reginaldah is that she just doesn’t look good, she looks like she is good too. It doesn’t help that she wears katakundus (which you cannot wear, if you do not have a, well, erm, a kundu. I am talking to you daughters from the mountain). This may sound a lil’ bit cheeky but not only did Katakundu kill it, I wanted her to turn my other cheek too. She is tall which rules out Ndugu from the race. She is rich too which means Brian cannot partake from her holy table. So, like I was saying, life is not fair. But really, she has a good heart. She, out of the abundance of her heart, financed a whole mandingo. But you have to have a good game in the bedroom which means Ashioya is ruled out too. But mtu hujikuna ajipatapo. ‘Me’, her titular tell-all, is a rapacious read, every page gripping you, and I really wanted to turn that ‘m’ upside down and talk about we instead. I mean, this is the lady who you can call at any time and give a shoddy justification and ping! 30k—but your head has to be in the right place. Read that slowly. Look, this alchemy of kienyeji-broiler is well travelled yet grounded like the fine morsels of busaa that line her heart-shaped lips. What I would give to be the straw between her lips. Even Otile Brown wrote her a song! Oh, Regiiiiinaa. She had the mercury climbing into the hundreds and blood rushing down the wrong veins. She gave us a feast with her stories (and that irridentist Emily-in-Paris purring laughter) but once the banquet is digested one thing must never be forgotten: Tatu really put the ‘L’ in love. But I just want her to know, I am here to finish off from where the Tatu Swindler left off. Nobody’s gonna know. As Kenya’s foremost experts on swindling culture here at Podcast With No Name, I can say with high authority: Tatu’s the shit. Maybe I even have a crush on her. Who knows? Nobody’s gonna know. I mean, she claims that she loves drinking busaa. And I want her to know that it really doesn’t matter. Ashanikunywa. **Our #SeriousLaughsEditionII live show goes down on 2nd April 2022. Venue Memorial Park, Nairobi. Amount 1500. Lipa na Mpesa Till: 5620115**
