I've been doing it for as long as I can remember—and it's not just me, either. My parents have always compared me to other kids, too. But you know what? It wasn't just in the home: it was everywhere. Every time I opened up Instagram or Facebook, there was someone who had a better life than me in some way. There was someone who had more friends or more followers on Twitter than me; someone who had a better job than me; someone who was thinner than me or prettier than me; someone who had a bigger house or nicer car than me; and on and on and on…
And let me tell you: it's not fun to be constantly comparing yourself with others! It makes you feel like an outsider, like you're never going to measure up—and it can really drag down your self-esteem if you don't learn how to stop doing it.
As I grew older and became more aware of my unhealthy habits, I tried to change them. Here is what I learnt: we all do it because we're human! We evolved to compare ourselves with others so that we could learn from their mistakes and succeed where they failed (or vice versa).
It's not easy to admit that we're all a little bit jealous. It feels like a shameful thing, like we're not as good as everyone else, and maybe even not good enough. We're built to be competitive—it's why we have sports teams and games of tag in the first place. And it's not just about success, either—comparing ourselves can also help us improve ourselves.
But if you're not careful, this kind of comparison can lead to a lot of unnecessary stress. You might start feeling like you're never doing enough, or like you need to be perfect in order to be happy. And that's just not true!
So how do you strike a healthy balance? Well, for starters, you can try to be aware of when you're comparing yourself to others. And when you catch yourself doing it, try to shift your mindset. Maybe instead of thinking about how happy someone else looks in a photo, think about how happy YOU would look if you were in that same situation! Or maybe instead of focusing on your friend's job promotion and feeling like you'll never get there, focus on what YOU have achieved in life so far and remind yourself that there are still many more things out there for YOU to achieve.
You are enough—and so are your friends, family members, and coworkers. So don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on what makes YOU happy instead of what other people are doing or how they're living their lives.
So don't be afraid! Next time you find yourself feeling jealous of someone else, take a moment and ask yourself if there's something about them that you admire or wish you had more of in yourself?
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