Sara Bareilles has a song called "She Used to Be Mine." When I first heard it, I listened to it on repeat, and sobbed over and over again. Well, I pulled that song up on my drive home last Saturday and just let my soul lay bare as I have in so many different seasons since I found it.
She sang:
"She's imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help
She is messy but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine."
I had a really big breakthrough that for most of my life I've actually felt really lonely. Most of that has been because I've refused to bring others into the midst of my uncertainty... of my need. But something that I do know, is that I want the same safe space that I give others. I needed to face that little girl inside and give her what she's wanted her whole life: a friend. To honor her. To witness her just as she is... and be okay with that.
Wherever you find yourself, sending you love.
Walking with you,
Evelyn
