In this episode I’m introducing you to the concepts of emotional and mental labour in a way that will have you understanding why it so often feels easier to do everything yourself instead of getting help.
This was a masterclass that I ran in January 2021 and here’s how I introduced it then…
This topic gets me very angry, this topic gets me very passionate, I'm going to give you a whole lot of value, but also really practical advice. So we are talking about shifting the household balance from Ugggh to Ahhhhh.
“I really think we need to lower the expectations we have on ourselves to look after absolutely everyone and be responsible for absolutely everyone, and when to raise the expectation that we have for our husbands, our partners, anyone else that we invite into our homes and into our households, because more than ever, these need to be safe, supportive places for everybody who resides in them.”
“So the first practical thing that you can do, which requires no change of expectation of anyone else, is let's create pockets of time to do the jobs that need to be done. So we don't have to think about them outside of that time. As women, as mothers, we smooth everything over, we just clear out these things that we need to raise awareness around. The thing that was most impactful for me was to get my husband involved in our life admin every week.”
“You have to allow for natural consequences, you cannot be the safety net. Otherwise, people have no incentive to do better next time. And guess what… we learned because we didn't have a safety net. We made those mistakes. We had the consequences that were uncomfortable and that we had to go through.”
Press play to join me in this conversation.
If you love what you heard today and wish to continue the conversation, I invite you to join the Experiencing Success: Conversations free Facebook group to share your experience.
I would love to connect with you over on Instagram @kerrynhewson.
One of the books that opened my eyes to emotional labour was Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward by Gemma Hartley.
Another book that was eye opening about how the expected role of mothers developed was Forget Having It All: How America Messed Up Motherhood – and How To Fix It by Amy Westervelt.
