There are elements of grief that we talk about that are considered acceptable such as missing our loved ones, or only memorializing the good memories of our loved ones. Then, the unacceptable parts of grief don't get talked about much. One of those inappropriate topics in grief is anger. My feelings were complicated because I could not accept that I was angry at my son for some of his choices that led to his death. I was angry at his choice to not allow the family to be around or to even talk to him weeks before his death. I found that I could not be angry with him out of fear that I was being disloyal to his memory.
After I accepted that he was human and made mistakes. I was able to appropriately feel my anger towards him and work towards resolving it. After resolving it I could work on forgiving him and myself for our mistakes.
I talk about these topics in an effort to normalize the grief experience and to educate others on the real effects of grief. Losing a child is the worst possible experience that someone can have, but is minimized in our society. It is only through our collective expression of experiences can we change the perceptions of society toward grieving mothers.
Listen in today as I talk about my experience with grief and anger. Send me a message if you would like to share your thoughts.
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