On today's episode of Grieving Insomniacs, I discuss how painful small talk can be while you are grieving. I used to be this outgoing person making friends everywhere I went before Christopher died. The most painful social interaction after he died was meeting new people, who asked within minutes of meeting you "How many children do you have?" I dislike this question so much. I will do almost anything to avoid it. I am not sure whether it is because I don't want to deal with their reactions when they ask it or my feelings when they ask it. Either way, it is painful.
Here at Grieving Insomniacs, we are trying to change the social norms surrounding grief. One of the social norms that are most in need of change is asking someone how many children they have. If we understood the pain, and heartache that this question causes for so many people, would we stop asking it? Of course, we would. Let's start now. The next time you meet someone connect with them in a different way.
I, also discuss someways to cope with how to answer the question of "How many children do you have?" in this episode.
Biography:
The Grieving Insomaniacs Podcast is available on Anchor, Google Podcasts, and Spotify.
I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.
It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.
I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.
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