I can't think of anything to say here this week. What can I say, sometimes the creative juices just stop flowing. Instead, in honor of summer, I'm going to post the lyrics to the seminal 2010 earworm "California Gurls" by Katy Perry in prose form. Ahem: I know a place where the grass is really greener. Warm, wet and wild: there must be something in the water. Sipping gin and juice, laying underneath the palm trees...the boys break their necks trying to creep a little sneak peek at us. You could travel the world, but nothing comes close to the golden coast. Once you party with us, you'll be falling in love. California girls- we're unforgettable. Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top, sun-kissed skin, so hot we'll melt your popsicle. California girls- we're undeniable. Fine, fresh, fierce, we've got it on lock. West Coast represent. Now, put your hands up. Sex on the beach (we don't mind sand in our stilettos), we freak in my Jeep (Snoop Doggy Dogg on the stereo). You could travel the world, but nothing comes close to the golden coast. Once you party with us, you'll be falling in love. California girls- we're unforgettable. Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top, sun-kissed skin, so hot we'll melt your popsicle. California girls- we're undeniable. Fine, fresh, fierce, we've got it on lock. West Coast represent. Now, put your hands up. Toned, tan, fit and ready; turn it up because it's getting heavy. Wild Wild West Coast, these are the girls I love the most. I mean the ones, I mean like she's the one. Kiss her, touch her, squeeze her buns. The girl's a freak, she drives a Jeep and lives on the beach. I'm okay. I won't play. I love the bait just like I love LA, Venice Beach, and Palm Springs. Summertime is everything. Homeboys banging out, all that ass hanging out, bikinis, zucchinis, martinis, no weenies, just the King and the Queeny. Katy, my lady, look here, baby. I'm all up on you because you're representing California. Oh yeah. California girls- we're unforgettable. Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top, sun-kissed skin, so hot we'll melt your popsicle. California girls- we're undeniable. Fine, fresh, fierce, we've got it on lock. West Coast represent. West Coast, West Coast. Now put your hands up. California, California girls, California girls, man. California, California girls.
There you go. What a dumb bit. Also, everything sucked in 2010. This week we read a listener email and give our RIP to the Iron Sheik. Then it's three very unfortunate tales of Guys, featuring an Australian fisherman with a suspicious penchant for disaster, a woman who claimed to repeatedly give birth to rabbits, and a super dumb guy who acquired a mysterious blue substance.
Howard Rodd- 16:17
Mary Toft- 51:40
Devair Alves Ferreira- 1:18:25
