It’s inevitable that we’ll face some criticism during our careers, but how do we handle it? Instead of thinking of criticism as something to fear, we can learn how to use these moments as opportunities to grow, learn from our mistakes, and question if the criticism was valid in the first place.
Key Takeaways:
Handling Criticism
- If you feel emotional or triggered after receiving feedback, ask yourself why and investigate these emotions
- Ask yourself what’s true and what’s perhaps another person’s interpretation of reality
- If you find yourself triggered, notice if you feel safe in the situation and relationship
- Notice your tendencies and fears that may have led to the feedback/criticism
- Stepping back from a situation helps you gain perspective. This will allow you to reflect, question the narrative, and ask yourself what’s really going on and if it’s true. This can diffuse the negative reaction you may have.
- Big ‘T’ truth, little ‘t’ truth: What is the reality (T) of the situation versus someone’s perception of reality or their truth (t)? Someone may have experienced the situation totally differently than you did. Investigate what’s true and what’s someone’s perception of the truth.
- We have a choice to internalize criticism or not; it can be dangerous to associate feedback with one’s identity
Giving Feedback to Others
- Make sure to set expectations of others at the beginning of working relationships
- Give "good" feedback frequently, as it makes it easier to give constructive criticism when needed
- Create a culture where people are expecting feedback on things that are working well (helps to remove fear around getting any kind of feedback)
- Define your feedback style. For example: ‘The Sandwich Method’ is an approach that starts and ends with positive feedback, with constructive feedback given between
- Remember: It’s not easy to give or receive feedback - it's all part of the human experience!
Armchair Expert podcast episode about shame: https://armchairexpertpod.com/pods/cathy-oneil
