Step five in The Fatherhood Formula is: Prepare your children so they can stand strong when they are grown. My wife and I are very different when it comes to parenting. She is instinctually loving, nurturing, and comforting. She didn’t have to develop these skills, they were in her from the start. I watched the switch flip on when the first chickadee came along. I marveled at how she could surrender her comfort and sleep for the baby. She craved the cuddling. She relished every moment and milestone. She wanted the kids to stay young forever, to always come to her for comfort. Her fiercely loving mother’s heart hasn’t changed, even with four kids and sixteen years of parenting. It is an admirable and beautiful thing to behold.
Fatherhood didn’t come so naturally for me. I didn’t fall in love with the kids at first sight. I had to work hard at being comforting, gentle, and loving. I guess the nurturing instinct didn’t come with my programming, as it did with my wife’s. As I learned to cradle the baby and change diapers, I wondered why I felt less emotional connection than my wife. What was wrong with me?
This changed when the kids began to talk and interact. Around one year old, I felt a rising enthusiasm. I got to know them and began seeing their personalities. I began to see the miracle of their growth, budding skills, and personalities. My father’s instinct activated. “Wow! Look what this kid can do! She’s walking! She’s talking! She’s actually interesting now!”
