It’s time to get more specific. After all, if we aim at nothing, in particular, we will hit it every time. What do we want our kids to be able to do? What skills are important? How do we want them to act? Should they go to college? What career should they choose? Who should they marry? There are so many life decisions that need to be prepared for, even if they are well into the future. How do I know if my kids are measuring up? How can I feel confident that I am doing everything I need to do? A father needs to set up the goalposts, so he knows when he is scoring points and when he is off his game. “What’s the score?” If we track the points in a football game, we should be able to do the same with fatherhood.
In this chapter, I will discuss the fatherhood goals we should set for our kids and how to help them achieve them. Let me admit at the outset, my list is incomplete. Every kid is different, so their list should be customized for their aptitudes. Every father is also different, valuing different things and having different skill sets. This will alter the list, as well. At the end of this chapter, I will challenge you to make your own list.
It’s important to set up your goalposts. What do you want for your kids? Start drawing up your game plan. What are the most important skills? What does a successful person need to thrive in life? What does success look like? What do I need to teach them so they are set up for success? What can I do today to help them score some points?
In addition, it is equally important for a father to understand what goals are not his to set. A father should not attempt to manipulate his child’s interests and personality. He should not demand that his kid become a plumber or a surgeon just because he thinks they are good jobs. The child will have to make his own choices in life, career, marriage, and family. Instead of planning the path his kids should take, a father should concern himself with building good decision-making skills in them. It may be difficult to hand over control to a teenager, but if you have spent eighteen years building character you can have confidence that they will be fine. No matter the career they choose. No matter where they live. No matter (Fill in the blank)!
