The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18 NIV
Wisdom usually comes with age and experience, though that is not guaranteed. Children start with none of it. It falls to the parents to teach them how to negotiate the difficulties of conflict. Without wisdom, kids have only one thing to guide them. Natural selfish desires. This is the first ingredient for conflict. “That’s mine!”, “No, I had it first.” The battle ensues. Tears and wailing follow. Two selfish creatures battle for their way. Whether arguing over toys at four years old or teenagers fighting over who gets the best seat in the van, conflict blooms at any age. If you start with selfishness and add any circumstance whatsoever, conflict will ensue.
It is crucial to teach your children how to resolve conflict. Without a toolbox full of strategies to play well with others, they are doomed to a miserable life. How many individuals with great potential and skill have torpedoed their lives through misunderstandings, overreacting, arguing, backstabbing, manipulating, and betraying those they needed to succeed? Open doors of opportunity are slammed shut when this kind of behavior is present. A selfish, greedy, thoughtless, or presumptuous person abuses the good will of others every time. Soon, the helping hands are not offered and it becomes difficult to advance in life.
I have heard some people complain about rotten luck and how hard their life has been. Even a casual observer can identify how they have poisoned all their opportunities and relationships by creating friction. They can’t recognize their habit of self-sabotage. These individuals push others away through various selfish habits like general grumpiness and irritability, being overbearing and presumptuous, demanding too much, ignoring boundaries, always taking and never giving, steering every situation to their advantage, prioritizing their agenda over others, and offering little value in return. People who act like this are poisoning their prospects. If we act badly with others, we should not be surprised when others don’t want to be around us. We aren’t victims; our negative behavior has sabotaged us. Life is filled with more opportunities for the peacemakers.
