Sandi Mann helps us confront one of our deepest fears in conversation: am I boring?! And its twin, what to do when someone is boring us!
Like you, I'm sure, I have been bored and sometimes I`ve been caught in conversation with someone one might call a bore. But the more I have studied this phenomenon, the more I got pulled in to learn more. My first guest this season Haesun Moon awakened me to the fact that we can`t always be right in reading someone`s cues of boredom... sometimes a yawn is just a yawn. And my next guest, Nick Epley echoed Haesun in that the most accurate way to find out how someone else feels about your conversation is to ask them. Which may not always be that easy to do when you are talking about boredom! Sandi Mann fills in the gap on this topic because she has done much of that leg work in her research, directly asking people what makes them bored in conversation.
We discuss which characteristics top the charts in making conversation boring: some may seem obvious, some counterintuitive. What is cool about Sandi`s take here goes beyond learning how we as speakers may avoid being boring ourselves, to why we instinctively want to do so! She also helps us discover how we, as listeners, may manage these sometimes-trying moments.
Sandi Mann is the Director of The Mind Training Clinic in Manchester, Senior Psychology Lecturer at the University of Central Lancashire, and author. Her latest book is The Science of Boredom.
Sandi recommends… when not in conversation letting your mind wander, whether losing yourself in swimming or creating art, such as adult colouring or the simple but joyful works of deco patch.
Thanks to the VCTA for their suppport for this episode.
