What is healthy sexuality? Hint - it’s not always abstinence!
Rhys approaches the conversation from the world of therapy, compulsive sexual behavior, sex/porn addiction. A major task in recovery from compulsive sexual behavior is figuring out healthy sexuality. Does this mean abstinence? Does this mean monogamy? Does this mean heteronormative sex? Or does it mean more mindfully engaging in what ever sexual behavior pattern you do?
Gregg Webb approaches the conversation from the ongoing conversation between Side A and Side B same-sex attracted Christians. In this world, we encounter individuals weighing the balance between the pull of a traditional and conservative Christian sexual ethic, more modern and liberal interpretations of the ancient texts, and the very powerful experience of being sexual beings who experience bodies, attraction, and sex in non-normative ways.
Both Rhys and Gregg also approach the question of healthy sexuality from within the Eastern Orthodox Christian tradition.
We start with the question, why on earth would anyone NOT have as much sex as they can? In this, we begin to introduce and explore some of the different factors that drive people to seek mastery over their sexual desires, and why some of these reasons are quite beautiful and important.
In this conversation, we reflect on our experiences of growing up queer in the church, surrounded by Purity Culture in its heyday, and an ancient tradition that openly celebrates monasticism and scetic labors. WE discuss the value of being strict with one’s self, but also the value of moderation and compassion towards self and others. WE talk about the importance of being present with one’s self and with others. This presence becomes impossible when given over to an obsession with satiation and gratification of sexdual desires, just as it becomes impossible when obsessed with laws, rules, and hyper and rigid control of one’s inner desires.
WE talk about abstinence and celibacy and their limits. WE talk about cautions and considerations in taking a very strict approach with one’s self. We talk about, whatever our labor is, how important it is to do it in community.
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Rhys can be found at www.newpatterncounseling.com and on instagram at @newpatterncounseling
Gregg can be reached at @greggwebb on Twitter and his blog at https://eleisonblog.org/
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