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It's the end of the world as we know it. This is the point in time where we'll all look back and realize - oh yeah, obviously that was the beginning of the end. The Wachowskis tried to warn us - or perhaps, they orchestrated the whole thing.

 

Russian farmers trialing VR goggles on cows to produce more milk

Special thank you to Adam for sending in this story. Turns out, we no longer need to address the root cause of any of our problems - we can just ignore it with VR!

VR goggles, modified for the shape of cow heads, are being used to display a 'unique summer field simulation program' in order to decrease anxiety in cows to help them produce more milk.

This is phase 1 in the Matrixing of society. Soon we'll all be in pods wearing VR goggles while the Boston Dynamics robots are using us as human batteries.

 

Businesswoman calls for $10,000 sex dolls to be made available for free on the National Health Service

Jade really tries to downplay the use of her dolls for sex, which is a little difficult when the name of your business is SEXDOLLOFFICIAL!

Some psychiatrists claim the dolls have therapeutic qualities, while others believe the dolls will only further alienate and isolate people, making their issues much much worse.

Jade claims "most buyers simply want a companion around the house."

SexDollOfficial offers bespoke, tailor-made specifications for their products. Some clients have asked for horns on their heads, spikes on their backs and Medusa hair.

For a negligible $10,000 - you too can own your own ...companion.

 

61-year-old road rage driver spits food into woman's mouth during a traffic incident

Just when you thought shit on the road couldn't get more tense and fucked up - David Paul Wipperman spits a gobful of food into a woman's mouth.

Well done David - you won our "Biggest Piece of Shit of the Month" award.

 

Honorable mentions

 

Special thank you to our Producer patron Sam!

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