Boundaries are a vital part of a healthy relationship. Sadly, they're often confusing and misunderstood... Causing a lot of heartache and distress. In this episode, Helena and Shawn offer a rich teaching to educate you on how to set, prepare and share your boundaries in a way that actually helps your situation!
This is for everyone to learn... For the women going through betrayal trauma... even for the man addicted to porn. We all need to learn to set and hold boundaries in a way that is helpful to the relationship.
Shawn gets the question literally weekly - "How do I tell my wife about my re-lapse? When do I tell her about it? and What should I tell her?" This episode will surely answer your question!
Helena's reading and teachings are from her video on setting boundaries and the 24-hour policy in her Beneath The Skin Betrayal Trauma Recovery program. She also shares an incredible story of when she set a boundary that altered the very fabric of her life... the vision she casted and the boundary she set that actually propelled Shawn to quitting porn! You don't want to miss this amazing story.
Here is what we cover in the episode:
- What boundaries ARE: Defining limits, creating healthy responses to actions/decisions/violations, adding layers of protection from repeated harm, rebuilding trust, and benefiting both parties.
- What boundaries ARE NOT: Punishment, coercion, avoidance of pain, emotional disconnection
- How to set personal boundaries and relational boundaries
- Enforcing Negative and Positive "Natural" Consequences
- 5 steps to setting, preparing, sharing and enforcing your boundaries
- The 24 hour "Tell Policy"
Resources Mentioned in the episode:
1. Secret Habit Pornography Recovery Accelerator: The All in One program for Christian men who want to find lasting freedom from porn
2. Beneath The Skin: Betrayal Trauma Video Program
3. 5 Years FREE FROM PORN post on Instagram
4. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life: by Henry Cloud & John Townsend
