In this episode, David and Nikki conclude the Healing from Church Hurt series by giving practical steps to find a new church.
Show notes:
Steps to Find a New Church
- Prior to Searching: Take the time to heal. Check on the spiritual health of the whole family. Determine needs vs wants
- Trying the Same Kind vs Different Kind of Church: Same churches work if the problem wasn't systemic. Different types of churches can confirm wants, needs, and convictions, but different isn't always better.
- How to Actually Find a Church: Search the internet. Ask for recommendations from neighbors, friends, coworkers, and community groups. Look for advertisements. Try driving around. Consider moving if a good fit can't be found.
- Warnings Before Attending: You will never find the perfect church. The grass always LOOKS greener on the other side. Things may actually improve before they appear to improve. Some problems may not be apparent until after you join.
- Starting the Process: Just start when a church is a true possibility, there isn't a right way. Pay attention to how the greeters engage you. See how the church members engage you. Pay careful attention to the pastor (e.g., is he really Biblical, is he aloof, etc.)
- Seeing if it Sticks: Fill out a guest card and see how that is handled. Give grace to people who don't know you and your situation. Is the church fitting the spiritual needs of the whole family? Is there chemistry between your family and the church family? Are there opportunities for your family to serve according to your gifts? Don't be in a rush to join. Learn what becoming a member means. Do not join if it is not a good fit. Determine if the emphasis is on being or doing.
- Locking it In (Joining): Have an open conversation with the pastor about where you are coming from and what you need. Get involved at a healthy rate. Only commit to ministries you can actually commit to. Don't ignore problems when they pop up; engage them Biblically according to Matthew 18. If a make-or-break situation arises after you join, leave; you aren't under contract. Be on the lookout for others who have been dealing with hurt because God never wastes pain.
