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Sense of Mind Podcast Episode 31 - Shame - with Joseph Burgo

Watch full video: https://youtu.be/8wpnL0gjKNE

Shame is an unpleasant emotion we have all experienced at one point or another. Most of us know it as the feeling associated with knowing that we’ve done something wrong–that our actions were not aligned with our values. In this way, as my interview guest Dr. Joseph Burgo argues, shame can be a positive emotion, because truly understanding why you feel ashamed can help you to grow to be the person you want to be. Moreover, he argues that shame is better thought of as the whole family of unpleasant self-conscious emotions, including guilt and simply feeling bad about yourself or who you are.

Joe Burgo has been practicing psychotherapy for nearly 40 years and currently works by Zoom with clients all over the world. He has also published a half dozen books, fiction and non-fiction, including most recently BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow.

In this interview, I speak with Dr. Burgo about shame from his unique perspective as a therapist.

Make sure to grab a copy of Dr. Burgo’s book, “Building Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us Grow” https://www.amazon.com/Building-Self-Esteem-Learning-Shame-Helps/dp/0997592028/

Note: This book also has an alternative title that I referred to in the video (“Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem”) but I would urge you to buy the one linked above, because Dr. Burgo does not own the rights to this second, alternatively titled version (and therefore it will help him more if you purchase the one linked above!). However, if you want the audio version, it is only available as the alternative title (“Shame”).

Dr. Burgo’s article, “Why Liberals should oppose the lockdown” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shame/202004/why-liberals-should-oppose-the-lockdown

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Chapters:

00:00 Shame is an unpleasant emotion we have all experienced.

01:07 Shame: free yourself, find joy and build true self esteem, by Joseph Burgo

03:00 Joseph Burgo on shame (vs SHAME)

05:30 The difference between guilt and shame

06:33 Core shame

11:08 Still face experiment

13:33 Shame in parenting

15:45 What causes us to feel shame?

16:55 Shame and anxiety

18:09 Shame and procrastination

19:09 Does shame encourage addiction and promiscuity?

20:50 Self hatred and shame

23:29 Narcissism and toxic shame

26:15 The utility of shame in society and our personal lives

30:18 Cancel culture as public shaming

34:23 Covid-19 lockdowns and public shaming

42:04 Joe Burgo's background

48:10 How the mind/brain works and develops (according to Joe Burgo)

51:07 Dr. Burgo’s book recommendation: “Sapiens,” by Yuval Noah Harari

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