We interrupt your regular programming to bring you - THE EGGSHELLS INTERVIEWS.
In these full interviews with our guests, expect excellent insights amid rambling chat, as together we explore how to disagree better! We're sharing our guest's words in context so that you can delve deeper into a conversation of your choice with an Eggshells' guest you love.
Duncan is a fountain of empathy knowledge and talks to us about the science of empathy, understanding why people might behave the way they do and why sorry can be problematic. We are grateful to Duncan for his thoughtful insights and playful spirit. This is an interview to listen to if you want to explore human behaviour more deeply, if you liked the Empathy episode, and if you want to know more about how our individual histories influence the way we disagree.
Duncan is the founding director of Useful and Kind Unlimited and of the Mindful Leadership Foundation. He has worked as a therapeutic coach, facilitator and trainer. He has advanced psychotherapy training and is constantly trying to find ways to use the latest learning in the service of others. https://www.theeggshellspodcast.com/team-1/duncan-fraser
REFERENCES:
- Hyper Empathy Syndrome - the condition Duncan refers to about a woman passing out: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/blog/2020/07/10/what-is-empathy-disorder#accept-cookies
- Details of the Italian study that Duncan refers to about Mirror Neurons: https://www.apa.org/monitor/oct05/mirror
- "Butterflies in the stomach" - according to a brief google search they are linked to the “gut brain” - New York Times Article: https://www.nytimes.com/1996/01/23/science/complex-and-hidden-brain-in-gut-makes-stomachaches-and-butterflies.html
- A empathy-development technique that Duncan talks about: imagine the space around you is completely safe; no-one can hurt you. Imagine meeting and greeting your conversation partner’s soul and embracing them with your “wings”. Listen to you conversation partner, and repeat back what they are saying using their own words. The aim is that they feel heard and you understand them.
- “Pro-sociality” definition - behaviours that are intended to benefit others.
- “What is there of the abuser in me?” - Duncan is possibly referring to the Orkney child abuse scandal in which 9 children were taken away from their families (we couldn't find any details on the clinical psychologist themselves). A very detailed account of the events can be found here should it be of interest - https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/235702/0195.pdf
- Transactional analysis - are you the parent, the child or the adult in the discussion? https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/transactional-analysis
- When we recorded this interview Joe Biden had just been inaugurated as President of the USA and Amanda Gorman had read this (her) poem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZ055ilIiN4
- Books mentioned in this interview: They Fuck You Up Your Mum and Dad - Philip Larkin https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48419/this-be-the-verse / Too Much and Never Enough - Mary L. Trump / Queenie - Candice Carty-Williams
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