If your Middle Schooler is struggling to find friends, is being isolated from the friends they have, or is in the middle of a friendship transition, this episode is for you.
So many of my clients struggle with friendships: Keeping them, finding them, finding the right ones. If your teen doesn't have close friends — if they don't feel like they have a group they belong to — it can be really isolating, and their self-esteem can take a hit.
In this episode, we explore exactly why Middle School is such a challenging time for friendships, including important data from multiple studies.
And I offer 7 Solutions for you to help your teen respond to those challenges and make friends.
So why is Middle School present such challenges for making or keeping friends?
- Bodies, brains and social skills are all changing, and all at different rates. It can be really challenging for teens to find someone at their similar level.
- 25% of 5th-8th Graders consider popularity to be more important than friendships, which can really tear friendships apart.
- Confidence is at a low point in adolescence, with girls' confidence dipping by as much as 30% between ages 8-14.
- Big emotions at this age, combined with a still-developing prefrontal cortex, can result in some irrational and impulsive behavior — which can affect your teen's ability to make or keep friends.
What can you do to help your teen make friends?
- Help them build social skills (show an interest in others, active listening, being kind)
- Direct their focus away from themselves and onto others to lower stress and increase their ability to interact and connect
- Encourage them to pursue their hobbies and interests, which can help them meet like-minded people
- Help them look outside their immediate social circle — to strike up conversations with new people or get to know their friends' friends
- Suggest they text or DM people on weekends, to start bridging the gap between being "school friends" and outside-of-school friends
- Talk to a Guidance Counselor, who has a pulse on the student population and can help make connections
- Reach out to me! Helping Middle Schoolers feel more confident is one of my specialties, and I have a new program designed specifically to help this age group.
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Episode mentioned in today's podcast: 5 Ways to Build Confidence
